I am turning my dog into a suck. With all this uncertainty about what will happen with her I have been doing my best to enjoy the time we have together. I have given her lots of extra hugs and belly rubs in the last couple of weeks. Now she seems to always want to sit on my lap. If I am not petting her, she has her paws up on my leg looking at me with those little puppy dog eyes of hers. I don't want her to turn into a bad dog, but I also don't want to miss out on any opportunities to love her if her life is going to be cut short.

I am also finding that if there is anything slightly out of the ordinary with her, I think that she is starting to show signs of having cancer. When I picked her up from the Vet clinic on Thursday they gave me a little bottle of liquid medicine to give her once a day for five days. It is an anti-inflammatory that has to be taken with food or it might upset her stomach. Because Kiwi is more of a grazer when it comes to eating, it is hard to say when she will eat. So since Thursday evening I have been hand feeding her a bit of food each evening before it's time for her medicine. She has hardly eaten in the last couple of days but always eats just fine when I hand feed her. If you ask me, she is just picking up a bad habit from me. Also, this morning when she first woke up I put her out for a pee because she didn't want to pee before bed last night. She just whined to get back in right away, so I said, fine, if I need to let her out in the night I will. Didn't hear a peep from her during the night, but then she wouldn't go when I put her out this morning. So I waited an hour and tried again when she was less excited to get her morning kisses and play time in with us and she did #1 and #2 right away.

I think I feel more at ease about this whole thing. Yeah, waiting sort of stinks but we have done all we can up to this point and all there is left to do it just wait. I REALLY don't want to lose her. We have invested a lot of time, effort and money into her, not to mention the fact that we love her dearly. As I sit here, Kiwi has her paws up on my leg and is whining to get up. I think I'll tell her no for now.