Christmas and a general update

It has been a few years since I actually felt excited about Christmas.  Last year was fun, but Fiona was too young to do anything other than lay there and be adorable. This year she still didn't GET it....but she enjoyed ripping paper and playing with some new toys.  It made Christmas a bit more fun for me, and I look forward to the years to come with her.

It was our turn to head to Swift Current for Christmas this year.  We were excited to get away and spend time with Jay's family.  We hadn't been to Swift Current as a family since Fiona was 7 weeks old at Thanksgiving of 2014!  Fiona traveled well both ways and slept like a rock star while we were there.  She even cut her 4th molar while we were there.

Fiona is now 16.5 months old.  She has 12 teeth and only has 4 eye teeth and 4 more molars until she has her full set of baby teeth.  It felt like she teethed forever before all of her first molars showed up, but once she cut that last one, we got a few days of happy Fiona.  Happy Fiona is such a joy, and sleeps 14 hours each night and naps 3 hours each afternoon and never whines.  Haha....honestly, I think she went through a growth spurt right after Christmas because she WAS sleeping 14+ hours/night and napping 3+ hours each afternoon.  It was nice, but kind of strange!

When Fiona was teething for her molars, each time she would be working on a tooth she would get a runny nose.  This past week I thought maybe she was starting to teethe for her eye teeth, but after a couple of days I realized that, no, she has a cold.  She has a really runny nose, sneezing, watery eyes and has not been going to bed very well at night.  It is unusual for her to cry when I put her to bed but the last few night she has.  Hopefully, it will clear up soon!

Fiona's grandpa built her a toy box for Christmas!  We weren't able to bring it home as our van was already packed to the brim with gifts and food to bring home, but next time grandma and grandpa come to visit they will bring it up for her.  It will be nice to have a place to store her toys!

As always, it was such a joy to watch Fiona interacting with her grandparents. They adore her and she had so much fun at their house. Grandma kept us well fed and we sure enjoyed the lovely turkey dinner she cooked on Christmas day! Because Fiona was teething while we were there her appetite was a bit iffy, but she loved grandma's cabbage rolls!

Fiona is definitely transitioning into toddlerhood.  Even though she will always be my baby, she is growing and changing and turning into a little person more and more.  She has quite the little personality.  She loves to dance.  I am not sure where that comes from....maybe her grandma Clara? Or her cousin Will? Haha...certainly not her parents!  She can certainly throw a good tantrum when she doesn't want to do something....usually when she has a tantrum it means she is tired or hungry. And they don't typically last very long.

She got a play kitchen and some play food for Christmas....and so far she mostly just likes to throw things on the floor and suck on the food....but I am sure it will be well loved by the time she outgrows it in a few years.

I am not sure if I could list all of the words that Fiona can now say.  But she is trying to say words more and more.  She knows the word 'more', and calls her self 'Na-no' when we ask if she can say Fiona.  She is usually generous with 'hi-you' and 'buh-bye' once she gets comfortable with someone.  She has started calling Kiwi 'Key'.  When she sees pants or pajamas she says 'pa' over and over again until I say 'yes, Fiona it's pants/pajamas' She likes to give da-da a 'pu' (push) around the house. When she gets her hands on something new, or something she shouldn't have, or gets really excited about something you get a very big 'oo-ooo-oooo' from her, which Jay and I find absolutely adorable!

More than the words she can say, or tries to say, she understands so much. Usually in the evening, after bath time, and after a bit of play time (usually a pre-bedtime dance party) she will say 'na-na' which means night-night and will reach for my hand and hold my hand and lead me to the top of the stairs to head downstairs for bed time.  She doesn't always initiate it, but if I say, "Fiona, should we go downstairs?" she will usually grab my hand and head for the stairs.  She can now go downstairs.  I don't think I would trust her on the stairs on her own yet, but she has climbed down without any help from me.

She still enjoys her bath time.  I have been surprised recently when she likes to lay back with her head/ears in the water and just 'float' in the tub.  She is not so much about the splashing anymore.  We are registered for swimming lessons that start tomorrow, and though I am looking forward to them, unless her cold resolves by then, I think we might have to skip this week's lesson.

15 months

My baby is 15 months old today!

She is growing and changing almost daily.  She is walking like a pro and learning new words all the time.  I have not spent much time with babies/toddlers in my life, so it is amazing to me how much she understands.  Even though she doesn't have a lot of words, she knows what I am saying most of the time.

I believe she still has 8 teeth.  She is definitely working on cutting molars and possibly eye teeth, but whenever I try to get my finger in there to feel what is going on she bites me.  Haha.  So until I have visual proof, I am not quite sure what is going on in there. 

I think she is starting to tantrum a bit.  If there is something she doesn't want to do, or if I go to pick her up to say put her in her high chair and she doesn't want to....she arches her back, or goes limp and cries.  Sometimes when she arches her back and goes to the floor she will hit her head....I suppose that is just part of being a toddler. 

She likes going out.  She gets excited when I grab the diaper bag and take it to the front door.  Whether it is to grandma and grandpa's house, or to the mall, or wherever, she likes getting out of the house.  We have been quite amazed at how well she does when we go out for a meal somewhere.  On Monday, Karen, Arleen, Fiona, Felix and I went for brunch.  I would guess whe were there for about 90 minutes and both Fiona and Felix hardly made a peep.  They were just happy to eat and watch the people around them. 

In a few weeks my cousin is getting married, and Fiona will get to go to her first wedding.  I hope she is happy and not too disruptive during the ceremony.  It is kind of a low key wedding, with coffee/dessert time afterward and no formal reception.  I am just looking forward to dressing her up in a fancy Christmas dress for the occasion.  

Still Processing

I am still trying to wrap my head around the fact that our family is complete. After almost 5 years of waiting for treatments, and going through treatments, and waiting to see if I would get pregnant from said treatments, we are done. There is definitely a sense of relief coming through. I still feel sadness about the what ifs, and wondering what our other child might have looked like/acted like/etc. I do realize, that most miscarriages that happen early on, often happen because of chromasomal issues, so, it is all kind of a moot point.

The first cycle of IVF we did, I was so excited. Everything, seemingly went well. I was so sure during the two week wait that I was pregnant. Then I was blindsided and devistated to find out I was not. After that cycle, I went into all the other ones with a good amount of caution, and even some pessimism. 

Before we did the embryo transfer in September I had mentally prepared myself more for a negative outcome, than a positive one. I did not think that I would possibly get pregnant and miscarry, I just did not expect to get pregnant at all. In my mind I made a list of the positive sides of only having one child. I knew the postivies of having another baby....but I wanted to prepare myself for the possibility that Fiona would be our only child.  I am starting to look ahead and trying to appreciate the list of positives I made.

After I miscarried I had all these thoughts about things I wanted to do.  Things that I felt like I had been putting on hold because I might get pregnant.  Get back into an exercise routine, cut my hair, buy some clothes (maybe once I lose some weight...), sell Fiona's baby stuff that she has outgrown....and I think I will pursue some of these things, but last week it felt like I needed to do all of it RIGHT NOW.  I think it was maybe just a way to distract from my sad feelings.  I think I will do all of those things....but I know there is no rush.  

 I have been savoring my time with Fiona. She is at a really fun age. She started walking a week or so ago! It is amazing how quickly she picked it up once she started. She is still pretty wobbly and falls down a lot, but I would say she walks the majority of the time now. She is becoming more expressive and loves to giggle. The other morning when I was getting her dressed in the morning, I had her laid across my lap.  She reached up and touched my armpit and said 'tookatooka' which is her way of saying 'tickle tickle' and giggled.  It was so sweet!

What a difference a year makes!  Top photo is her at 1 month, bottom is her at 13 months!

Goodbye little one

When I got pregnant with Fiona, it was such an amazing surprise.  After going through extensive fertility treatments, I felt so thankful to have gotten pregnant, and stayed pregnant, and have a healthy little girl.  I am still so thankful for her!

We knew after we had her, that we would not be going through any more cycles of IVF.  We were spent, both physically and emotionally from the ups and downs of what it entails.  We did however, have one little frozen embryo left.  We knew that we wouldn't wait too long to transfer it, as we were longing to either have another baby fairly close in age with Fiona, or just move on from this chapter of our lives.

Earlier this month we transferred our beautiful little embryo.  I was a lot more calm this time around after having Fiona.  I knew not to read too much into the 'symptoms' I was feeling because most of them could be explained away by the progesterone supplementation the doctor uses for these types of procedures.  However, about 2 days before my blood test, I was hit with the same crazy fatigue that I was hit with when I got pregnant with Fiona.  I was pretty sure our little embryo had stuck!  Sure enough, two days later my blood test came back positive, and 3 days after that the 2nd blood test indicated that the hormone levels were rising appropriately.

Since then I have felt pretty good.  I have been really tired and occasionally nauseous, but that was pretty average for being 5 or 6 weeks pregnant.  Yesterday I had a bit of spotting.  I was not too concerned, as it was pretty light, and I had had a couple of bouts of spotting when I was pregnant with Fiona.  Then this morning when we were out grocery shopping, I started to feel crampy.  When we got home I found that I was bleeding, but nothing too heavy.  I decided to phone the doctor on call for our fertility clinic.  She said unless it gets really heavy, sit tight until tomorrow and call the clinic in the morning and they will get me in for an ultrasound.

Since then the bleeding has gotten a lot heavier and the cramps have gotten quite a bit worse.  It still isn't much worse than a bad period.....but I would be really surprised if that little one is still in there.  Sigh.  After all this....all the thoughts that you have when you find out you are pregnant (what we will name him/her, is it a boy or a girl, I will have to give up my massage practice because my office is the only spare room we have left, I will need to get a double stroller, how will I manage to sleep with a toddler and a newborn, how will I look after Fiona and a newborn while recovering from a csection, how will Fiona interact with a baby, etc etc etc), I am pretty sure that Fiona will be our only child.

I feel sad for her that she won't have siblings....and her cousins are 8 and 10 years older than her....but I hope that she will have good friends who will be like sisters/brothers to her, and maybe she will marry into a family with siblings.  I know there are no guarantees about siblings being close.....but I am sure parents hope that they will be.  I know being an only child has its advantages (as Jason can attest to), but I think there are disadvantages too.

Update: This morning I went to the clinic for an ultrasound and our baby is gone.  I know we will be okay, but it will definitely take some time.  You really do get attatched to these little ones, or the idea of them.....and then they are gone.  I am SO SO SO thankful we have Fiona, and will be giving her extra hugs and kisses in the next while because I can't imagine how much harder this would be if we didn't have her.

My busy girl!

 

Fiona has taken a few independent steps in the last few days, and today she took about 6 or 7 steps.  Of course when I got the camera out she went back to the 2 or 3 steps, but I was glad to capture some on camera anyway.  Exciting!

 

One of Fiona's favorite things is being read to.  Every day she will bring me the same 8 or 10 books one at a time from across the room.  She repeats this a few times each day.  Might be time to dig out some of the books that Jay's mom saved from when he was a kid.  She still has a pretty short attention span, but it is definitely improving.

Where has my baby gone?

Now that Fiona is one year old, I just can't believe how quickly she is changing, and learning new things. I didn't realize that one year olds typically could say a few words. I would say Fiona's most used word is 'no'. But she also knows dada, mama, pee (puppy), baba (byebye), hey/hi. I also think she tries to say 'tickle tickle' which sounds kind of like 'tookatooka'. Oh yeah, and she also says 'ta' when she wants you to take something from her.

She likes to make faces and mimic your faces.  The picture above is one of her faces.  Looking down her nose.  Haha.  She also does one where she tucks her chin down and looks up and looks shy.  Sometimes she will stand on our bed and look in the mirror on our headboard and practice making her faces.

It felt like it was going to be a long time before she started walking.  She just was not really that interested in walking.  She would scoot along furniture a bit, but wasn't a fan of holding my hands and walking.  Then suddenly she started standing unassisted more, and is now happy to walk along holding my fingers.  She has even taken a couple of steps on her own.  But has never done more than one or two before either losing or balance, or just realizing she wasn't holding onto something and sitting down.  I think we will have a walker within the next few weeks!

 

Fiona is up to 7 and possibly 8 teeth (she is not too keen to let me poke around in her mouth).  I can also see some bumps further back in her mouth, and I think she might be working on some molars or i-teeth.  She has been more whiney lately, and her sleep hasn't been as good.  Also she has been drooling up a storm!  Hopefully, they will stop bothering her and she will go back to having her loooong naps and looooooong night time sleep.

I decided this fall to sign Fiona up for toddler time through our community association.  I thought about swimming lessons, but decided it might be good for her to socialize with some more kids her age.  It starts in a couple of weeks.  It is on Monday mornings, and I think it is just a free play time for the little ones in the toddler room at Circle Dr. Alliance Church's toddler room.  I think it will be a good opportunity to get out of the house.  Hopefully, it isn't just a place for kids to spread around their germs....haha.

What to do?!

This week Fiona had her 12 month vaccinations and her 12 month checkup with our family doctor.  At each of these appointments, there were recommendations made about what her diet should look like.

The public health nurse said that she absolutely does not need to have formula anymore.  In fact, some kids who stay on formula too long, gain too much weight and that isn't good.  They said she should be drinking 2-3 cups of whole milk a day, and eat a variety of dairy, meat, fruits and veggies throughout the day.

My doctor said that she only needs two servings of dairy per day and that can include formula/whole milk/cheese/yogurt/cottage cheese/etc.  And that she should primarily be eating meat and veggies to ensure she doesn't become iron deficient.  Also she should have 800IU of vitamin D supplement per day.

I know that there is more than one way to feed a child....and I doubt most parents/kids follow the recommendations exactly.  There are days/weeks that Fiona mostly eats fruit and bread, but I feel like it is okay because she is still getting iron and other good things from her formula.  But I am feeling ready to be done with formula and bottles...and honestly, I don't feel like Fiona will miss it that much.  I feel like I really need to distract her to get her to take more than an ounce or two of formula, but if I give her a book or toy to hold on to, she will take 4-6 oz.

I also wonder about the public health recommendation to cut off a baby from formula at a year....like some magical switch has been flipped and they no longer need it.  However, if you are nursing, you go ahead and nurse until that kid is 2+ years old.  I know that breast milk and formula are not the same thing....but I just wonder why there is such a push to get them off formula once they are a year old, but if it is breastmilk you keep on drinking as much as you like!  Maybe it is my slight insecurity as a formula feeding mom...but seems kind of silly to me. 

Almost ONE!

Man, I sure have dropped the ball on blogging about Fiona!

Life has been busy, and I suppose there are just different priorities.  I am quite active on Facebook and Instagram with updated information about my little girl....so I guess the blog has been neglected.

I don't know how in the world Fiona is going to be ONE this week.  The last year has been quite the whirlwind of a rollercoaster.  So many good things, and with that some challenges as well.  Becoming a mom has been such an adventure.

I feel so blessed that Fiona is such a content and easy going girl.  She went through a period between 7 and 9 months where she was teething and her sleep was not the best.  But for the last couple of months her sleep has been AMAZING!  She typically sleeps about 12-13.5 hours a night and then usually has 2 naps, but some days only one, and between her naps she usually sleeps another 3-4 hours a day.  I am not sure how long this will continue, or if it is part of a growth spurt that she is going through.  She is currently wearing mostly 12 month, and some 18 month clothing.  She has even been wearing a pair of jeans that are 18-24 month size.  She is a very tall, skinny girl, and I am curious to see how tall she is at her next checkup at the end of this month.  When I weigh her on our bathroom scale, it says she is about 22lbs.

Her appetite has been up and down in the last few months.  It seems that when she is actively teething, all she wants to eat is fruit, bready things (toast, cheerios, crackers, etc) and cheese.  But when she isn't she is quite open to trying vegetables and meat as well.  I think her favorite foods right now are grapes, strawberries, blueberries, peaches, bananas, watermelon, steak, chili, beans, Cheerios, cheddar cheese and yogurt.

She is very active.  She started crawling right around 8 months old.  By 9 months she was starting to pull herself up to standing and just after 10 months she started walking along furniture and walking behind anything that she could push.  I still think it will be a while before she is walking independantly.  She doesn't even really like to stand without support yet, so she has a ways to go, and I am okay with that.

Her favorite toys are things that aren't really toys.  She loves to play with Kiwi's toys and loves to pull things out of the couple of drawers that I have given her to play with.  She loves the flashlight that Jason keeps in the pouch of his wheelchair.  She is starting to enjoy being read to, as long as they are short without too many words.  Right now her favorites are Goodnight Moon, Snuggle Puppy and Mommy Hugs. 

She is quite chatty.  She doesn't really have any real words, but does say dada, mama, nana, papa, nonono, tookatooka, dootdoot...and more.  I just love listening to her babble, and I look forward to hearing what she has to say when she has real words.  She has the sweetest little voice.  She also has quite the belly laugh.

 

She got her bottom middle teeth when she was between six and seven months old.  Then she got her top ones next to the middle ones when she was between seven and eight months old.  Then she teethed off and on for the last four months and FINALLY a week or so ago she cut tooth number five (top middle) and is working on the other top middle one but it hasn't quite come through yet.  It looks like there are some getting close to the surface on the bottom as well.  I hope the rest of her teeth don't take four months of teething for each tooth!

I have enjoyed the summer with Fiona.  We have made a few trips to the park and she has enjoyed swinging on the swings.  We have gone for plenty of walks with Kiwi and just enjoyed some time out on the back deck and lawn.  I am not looking forward to winter, as Fiona becomes more mobile, but I am sure we will have some fun times playing in the snow and will maybe find some indoor play options to check out if we get too much cabin fever.

I have spent the last few weeks working on a digital photo book for Fiona's first year.  Once we have her birthday party next weekend, I will add a spread for her birthday and will get it printed.  It has been fun to do, and I can see making more photo books in the future.  In the photo book I have included each of the monthly photos we have done of Fiona over the last year.  When we started doing those photos for her first month, I assumed that we would just do as most people do, and photograph her in the same spot each month so we could see the growth that she had each month.  However, as time passed we ended up doing a unique photo each month that sometimes was related to a specific skill she had mastered that month, or sometimes just something Jason or I had envisioned for the photos.  I am pretty excited to do her twelve month photo this week.  It is going to be a lot of fun, and be quite meaningful to us. 

Seven Months Old

Fiona is seven months old!  I am not sure where the last few months have gone.  It has been quite amazing to watch her grow and change.  Some days I still can't quite wrap my head around the fact that I am a mom.

At seven months, Fiona is sitting up quite well.  She is rolling with purpose.  She is trying to crawl, but hasn't quite gotten the coordination to get on her hands and knees at the same time.

After a few weeks of crankiness and poor sleep, she has two little teeth that have come through the gums and are growing.  I hope it is a couple more months or so until she starts working on some more teeth.  It is nice to have my happy girl back!

She is full of babbles.  I love to hear her little 'ba ba ba'.  I look forward to hearing mama and dada from her.  I am sure it will be a little while before that happens.  She has also gotten quite proficient at blowing raspberries and smacking her lips.  I am glad that she does not seem to be as shrieky.  That was a difficult period.  A lot of evening headaches after listening to those ear piercing shrieks all day long.

She has decided that spoon feeding is not so bad, so we have done a combination of spoon feeding and baby led weaning.  She does really well with soft cooked chunks of veggies, fruit and meat.  I think she prefers soft chunks to chew over purees.  I hope in the next month or so that she will figure out her pincer grasp then she can start enoying more finger foods.

She enjoys her bath time and loves to splash in the tub.  She sometimes even tries to drink the bath water, haha.  We have registered for swimming lessons during the months of April and May and I think she will enjoy time in the pool.

She has started to 'make strange' a bit and has been a bit more clingy to me.  It is sad to see her cry, but I know that when she is well looked after, it probably isn't the worst thing for her to cry a bit.  I just feel bad for the people who are looking after her. 

It has been so fun to see bits of her personality start to come through.  I look forward to seeing more and more of it as time goes on.

On the Move

Fiona rolled over for the first time when she was around three months old.  She has done it occasionally since then.  I wondered if she would ever decide that she liked rolling, or figure out she could roll places....and in the last week or so she has just taken off with her rolling.  Not that she can get anywhere very fast, but if you put her down, she will roll.  It is truely amazing how quickly babies change and grow and develop. 

I am certain that Fiona has just had a bit of a growth spurt.  Suddenly most of her 6 month sized sleepers and onesies are too short in the sleeve.  I put her in a 9 month sleeper for bed last night and it fit quite comfortably with a bit of room to spare.  She is such a tall skinny girl.  It is going to be tough to find clothes that fit her well.  It seems that some brands cater to short chubby babies, and others do a better job with the tall skinny ones.  At this point 6 month pants are way too short on her, and the 9 month pants are a good length but are too big in the waste.  I am finding that Carter's clothes tend to fit her best.  Walmart and Joe Fresh brands tend to be pretty bad. 

Her eating has been going well.  I think her absolute favorite so far has been cucumber.  I am not sure if that is because she likes it, or if it is just kind of the perfect texture that she can easily hold on to, but still chew bits off of.  She has pretty well flat out refused spoon feeding now.....so though I expected to do a bit of spoon feeding along with finger foods....I guess finger foods it will be.  It will be a bit limited until she masters her pincer grip (thumb and pointer finger)....hopefully in another month or so.  So far she has tried carrot, broccoli, cucumber, sweet potato, chicken, beef, egg, snap peas, bell peppers, avocado, apple, banana, oatmeal, rice crackers, toast, pineapple....I think that is it.  I tried to give  her a taste of our curried chickpea soup on Saturday but she didn't want me to spoon feed her....I got a tiny bit in her mouth, and I think maybe that was a bit too intense of a flavor considering most of what she has tried so far is pretty bland.

Tonight Fiona is spending the night at my mom and dad's house.  I think they are excited to have her, especially since she is such a good little sleeper.  I hope she is good for them!  Jason and I wanted an evening to go out for supper and just spend some time together.  It is kind of strange to be here without her.....I do miss her a bit....but it is a nice break.   

Baby Led Weaning

I don't really like the term 'baby led weaning'.  It feels misleading to me.  I would call it 'self feeding' or 'baby led eating'. 

We are starting to dabble in feeding our baby solids!  I know she is just over 5 months old, but our attempts at giving her some food has been successful so far, so I think we will continue on. 

Baby led weaning is a different approach to feeding a baby, than what is typically used.  You skip the purees and go right to feeding your baby finger foods.  So far, Fiona has tried broccoli, apple and carrot.  I think for supper tonight we will let her try some sweet potato and probably some more broccoli.

I read/skimmed through the book "Baby-Led Weaning" by Gill Rapley and Tracey Murkett.  It reassured me about the fact that babies don't need to eat a whole lot in the first few months, as they are still getting most of their nutrition from formula or breast milk.  So, when you watch a baby eating finger foods early on, probably very little will actually go down their throats, but that is okay.

I was a bit concerned about choking, but after reading the book I have a better understanding of the physiology of eating.  Basically, babies who eat purees learn to swallow before they learn to chew.  And with BLW, babies learn to chew before they swallow.  So early on, they will chew food and most of it will get drooled/gagged back out. Also, the gag reflex of a baby is a lot further forward than an child/adult.  So a bigger piece of food doesn't need to get very far back on their tongue before their gag reflex kicks in and should move it forward.  It is unpleasant to watch a baby gagging, but gagging actually helps them not choke.

Also, it is not necessary for a baby to have teeth to do this.  You start out giving them vegetables/fruits that have been steamed so they are soft enough to gum.  As for meat, they will probably mostly just suck on it intially but will figure out how gum pieces off.

This appeals to me because it will allow Fiona to eat what we are eating.  Intially we may need to leave out unseasoned pieces of food for her, but she should be able to eat pieces of meat  and vegetables that we are having for supper.  Once she develops the ability to use a pincer grasp (thumb and pointer finger) it will make the options a lot more varied.  In the beginning you have to start out with food that a baby can hold with a fist and still eat, so food that can be cut in to strips or sticks.     



 

Four months old!

I had to share this amazing photo that Jay took of our little girl!  She is so lucky to have such a talented daddy :)

Even though she had a lousy night, and short naps today, she broke out this heart melting smile for the camera tonight. 

I love the two little outfits I got for her for Christmas.  The other one was in the Santa photo, and our family photo, however it is a bit small, as she is growing like a weed.  This one still fits quite well, and I think she will wear it to grandma and grandpa's house on Christmas day.

Fiona got to meet Santa!

We braved the mall on this very crazy busy Friday before Christmas to get a photo of Fiona with Santa!  At the Lawson Heights Mall you bring your own camera and take your own free photo with Santa.  I was impressed with the Santa there.  I thought the Midtown was the only Santa with a real beard....but this was a top notch Santa too!  I have this issue with Santas with fake beards....they seem creepy to me.  But this guy was really great!

I didn't know how Fiona would do, being handed to a complete stranger, especially one in a crazy outfit....and I had to wake her up to take her out of the car seat, so she was still a bit sleepy.  She did really well though.  No smiles, but at least there weren't any tears or pouts.  Though, I do find something really funny about photos of children freaking out on Santa's knee.  Haha!

We've been busy!

I had kind of hoped to keep up on this blog a bit.  But life with a newborn has been so busy!  When baby is sleeping I am trying to get something productive done, or sleeping myself.

I can't believe Fiona is a few days away from 4 months old!  What a whirlwind these last few months have been.  I would say that after the first month passed, that I finally felt like my head resurfaced and I could breathe a little bit again.

Fiona started sleeping through the night fairly consistently around 2 months old.  That has made all the difference, getting good sleep.  I also have slept so much better since we got the baby monitor and I moved back upstairs.  There have still been a couple of times when I have stayed downstairs after getting up to feed Fiona during the night...but those feedings are becoming fewer and further between.

She is such a content, sweet baby.  My heart just swells with love when I think about her.  So full of smiles and giggles and coos.  I am loving the more interactive side of her, and I imagine she will only get more and more interactive as time passes.  She is rolling over quite well from back to front and front to back.  She hasn't really figured out that she can use rolling to get places...but once she does, I am sure I will have to watch her like a hawk!

I decided this week that is time to try and get her on a bit of a schedule.  Her bedtime was varying anywhere from 930-1130pm.  I really wanted some evening time to myself, and to spend with Jay!  I had been feeding her 5 times per day, and decided to try 4 feeds per day and she seems to be doing well with that.  So, for the last couple of days she has eating at 8am, 12pm, 4pm and 8pm then to bed.  It usually takes her a while to settle to sleep.  Some days I almost wish she took a soother, because I think it would be easier to settle her back down by plugging her cry hole, haha...but once she settles in, she sleeps really well.  I just feel like I pick her up to settle her more than I would like, but it seems to work. 

She has been doing really well in the Woombie, but with all of her rolling, I feel like it is probably getting to be time to get rid of it.  I am thinking I will wait until after Christmas to start working on putting her to bed without it.  I am sure it won't be the disaster that I am picturing, but she has just been sleeping so well in it, I am a little scared to see what she will do without it.  I will probably start with putting her down for naps without it....then move to night times.  Maybe she will be able to self soothe better if she can suck her fingers at night....I guess we will see!

I am getting excited for Christmas!  I know that Fiona won't have the first clue about what is going on, but I think it will be a fun day.  I am thankful that we get to spend the day with Jay's family and my family.  I am sure Fiona will enjoy the excitement, and hopefully we can get a good nap or two in, so she isn't too fussy!

Merry Christmas from our little family! :)

Three weeks?!

Is that all.  It feels like it has been months since Fiona was born.  Well maybe not months, but certainly more than three weeks.  I feel like I am living in a time warp these days.  I feel like maybe I am starting to have a bit of a grasp on what day of the week it is, but I usually have to think about it, and remind myself if I am to remember.  I think that is the sleep deprivation.

I feel that we are slowly starting to find a rhythm of life.  Eat, play, sleep.  Life exists in 3-4 hour increments both day and night.  Nights have been going okay.  Some shorter than others.  I would say I have had from 4-7 hours of sleep each night, usually broken into 2-3 chunks.  I look forward to her dropping a night time feed.  It wouldn't be bad if she ate once in the night, but for now it seems like it is usually twice.  And the feeds aren't so bad, it is when she won't go back to sleep afterward that makes for a loooong night.  I do think she is sleeping better since her and I moved into the basement for night time.  I miss our nice comfy bed, but honestly, I think my sleep is better, and I feel more relaxed knowing that Jay can't hear every little squawk.

I have found new parenthood to be really overwhelming.  I feel like maybe it is getting less so, as we start to find our rhythm.  I think as long as things go fairly well, I do okay.  But last week Fiona had one evening where she screamed her head off for an hour or so, and we couldn't figure out what the problem was (maybe gas?) but she did eventually settle and slept.  That was a short night, and the next day I felt really overwhelmed again.

I have had my mom come and spend a couple of nights to look after Fiona so I could sleep.  Though there is part of me that feels guilty for struggling, I know that there is no shame in asking for help.  And honestly, I think grandma enjoys spending the night with her newest grandbaby.  I find it so much easier and more enjoyable to look after Fiona after I have had a good night sleep.

My recovery from the c-section seems to be going well.  They say it takes about six weeks before everything should be healed and back to normal.  I expect that some of my fatigue is due to healing from surgery.  Though I expect more of it has to do with the loss of quality sleep.  I am trying to not do too much lifting, so we haven't gotten out of the house a whole lot....but have been making an effort to get out every few days.  So far we have been to Superstore, City Perks and tomorrow we are going to try to go to Costco.

I know every stage of parenthood will have its challenges, but as everyone keeps telling us, it gets better.  I am trying to savor moments with our beautiful daughter, but I do look forward to not feeling like a zombie.   

Fiona Lily

Our amazing, beautiful daughter was born on August 20th at 10:53am.  Though her birth was not exactly what we envisioned, we are so glad she is here, and that she is healthy.

We arrived at the hospital on Wednesday the 20th at 8am and checked in.  Then we got to wait and wait and wait.  Basically before 9:30 all that happened was someone took my blood pressure, listened to the baby's heart beat and felt my tummy and let me know that it felt like my baby had 2 bums (thanks lady :P).  We finally got moved into an OR holding room where I changed into a gown, and they gave me a quick ultrasound to make sure baby had not flipped head down since our previous ultrasound.  I was a bit relieved that she hadn't moved at this point, as I was mentally prepared for the c-section by now.  We met the surgical team and I was taken to the OR to get my spinal anesthesia and get set up.  Jason had to wait in the holding room until I was all ready to go.  He was told it would be 15 minutes and said after half an hour he was getting a bit worried, but everything was okay.

It was kind of an odd feeling to walk into the OR.  Everyone was really kind and friendly, and helped me to feel at ease as much as I could.  The spinal was an interesting experience.  Once it had been injected I would say that almost immediately my left leg started to feel warm and tingly.  It didn't take too long before my right leg caught up, and they got me up onto the operating table while I still had some control over my legs.  I felt like I was doing well, then suddenly I started to feel very nauseous and light headed.  Apparently my blood pressure had dropped so they gave me a shot of something in my IV and it brought my blood pressure back up and I felt a lot better, even though my heart was racing a bit as a result of whatever they had given me.  Once they knew that I was well numbed, the nurse inserted a catheter into my bladder, which I didn't feel, and I think it was shortly after this that Jason was allowed to join me.

With the spinal anesthesia, you can feel touch and pressure but not pain.  There was part of me that was anxious that once they started cutting that I might feel something.  But it was soon aparent with all the pulling and tugging and pressure that they had begun and I couldn't feel it.  It was really strange that all of a sudden I knew that they had the baby out...just a really odd sensation.  Then I heard her cry for the first time.  Everyone in the operating room commented how big she was.  But no one actually said 'she' or 'girl' or 'her'.  So eventually I asked, is it a girl or a boy.  So after all those months of not fully believing that it is a girl, we got our girl :)

I got to hold her as they stitched me back up, and then when they moved me to the recovery room.  Still hard to believe that I am suddenly a mom, and this sweet little baby is mine.

I don't have any photos uploaded right now, so if you would like to see some top notch photos of Fiona, head over to Jay Scott Photography!