I remember a few years ago when all my friends were getting married. I had a lot of weddings to attend and no wedding for me in the foreseeable future. I didn't have too many moments of feeling sorry for myself, but I was always looking forward to my big day.
Now that approximately 98% of my close friends are married the time for babies has arrived. It started out slowly, but recently seems like it has reached a frenzy. There are babies everywhere, and everywhere I look there are pregnant ladies. I don't know that I feel ready to be a mom, but after talking to one of the girls in our Bible study group last night who is due with her first baby in April, she sounds a little scared. I have gotten that feeling from some of the pregnant ladies I have talked to in the last years. Not everyone who decides to start a family feels calm and relaxed and ready for it. They just dive in and deal with it as it comes. I can't imagine, even if I REALLY wanted to be a mom, feeling calm with the thought of impending labour and delivery, as well as having this tiny helpless person who is 100% dependent on me. Sort of like what I mentioned in my last post, you just handle it as you are able.
There was a time in my life, not that long ago, that I thought I would be totally okay without ever having children. I would say that my heart has softened toward the possibility after seeing the adorable babies that my friends have had, even when they scream and cry and are difficult. I feel that my reasons for not wanting to have children are mostly selfish and I don't want to be selfish. Having children is not something to be taken lightly, however. I had a chat one day a few months ago with Karen about parenting and having a deeper purpose in life. I don't know if I could imagine going to work day in and day out for the rest of my life. I think having children gives your life more meaning and purpose. Not that I wouldn't still work, but I would prefer to have greater goals than to just earn and save money to buy nice things or go nice places.
This being said there is always the question of whether a person is able to conceive children at all. It seems that so many women these days are having to turn to some form of medical intervention to become pregnant. I don't think I would go to any extraordinary lengths to get pregnant. I also don't know how I feel about adoption. All things to consider...
Last night as we were getting ready for sleep Jay and I had quite the chat about baby names. We had some good laughs. If we ever have a child, I don't think that picking out names would be too big of an issue for us. We tend to lean towards more traditional, non-popular names and away from trendy, completely bizarre or made up names.