I feel sad. I know that's normal when someone you love dies, but I have never experienced much of this in my life. Most of the people that I know who have died have been believers. My gramma was not a believer. I can't even begin to fully comprehend the implications of that. I know what the Bible says, but who wants to think of their loved ones enduring the eternal torment of hell. I think that if I dwell on this fact too much I will fall apart and not ever feel the same again. I have been praying for God to give me peace to get on with life, but also that he would use this situation so that myself and the other believers in my family might have an influence on the non believers.

I guess that grampa is doing okay. He is sad, but is finding peace. He received an anniversary card in the mail yesterday and that was pretty hard on him. Wednesday would have been their 59th wedding anniversary. *sigh* Our flight leaves Saskatoon tomorrow at 2:35pm. I am feeling a little nervous about going, and seeing their house without gramma in it. I am a little afraid of all the emotions that will be floating around there. I know that funerals are a good thing to find peace and closure and whatnot, but I have never done well with funerals.

the reason i love autumn

Where do I even begin? I will ask you to pray for my family in the next week or so (and beyond if you like). I got a call from my sister yesterday evening that my grandma had passed away yesterday afternoon. That comes as an incredible shock, as she was not sick. In fact, she had been doing really well, better than she had been in quite sometime. Last summer she was VERY sick with pneumonia and a few other opportunistic infections, but she had healed quite well. As most of you know, I was out visiting them in Calgary less than a month ago and she seemed to be doing so well. They took us out for supper, her and my mom went shopping for a short trip as she did tire out a lot more quickly than she used to. I guess yesterday afternoon she laid down for a nap, and just never woke up. I suppose that is a good way to go, but yeah, very shocking.

My mom is flying out to Calgary today to help start the funeral planning, and the rest of us will probably fly out next week once we know when the funeral is planned for. Isn't it amazing how a single call can just turn your life upside down like that?! I worry about my grandpa, as he depended on her for a LOT and with him being so stubborn, I don't know if anyone will be able to convince him to move out of their huge house. I am thinking that he may not be far behind grandma, but also with his stubborness he may just live for another 15+ years (he is currently 87 and grandma was 82). So please remember my family in your prayers this week.

grape juice

Did you ever wonder why grape juice tastes the way it does? Grapes that we buy in the store NEVER taste as sweet as that juice does. I always kind of wondered if it was just kind of a synthetic grape flavor, until yesterday. Mom and dad gave Jay and I some grapes that they got from my aunt and uncle who just came back from Kelowna. These concord grapes....they taste exactly like welches grape juice. I was absolutely amazed! Soooo good! If they grow grapes that tasty in BC, why do the ones we buy at the grocery store come all the way from Mexico and aren't even a fraction as good as these?? *sigh*

New Favorite!

Yesterday Jason and I met for lunch and a bank appointment at Superstore on 8th St. We got there, had lunch, looked around a bit, then had our meeting to look after some business. We have really enjoyed dealing with PC Financial and their complete lack of service fees, but yesterday when we were done, Irfan (the financial guy there) gave us 2 coupons for totally free cartons of President's Choice S'mores ice cream. We redeemed this very generous coupon (a $6 value!). Wow, I totally have a new favorite ice cream flavour! It is sooooooooo yummy! We just had steak for supper, and I am quite full, but all this talk of the ice cream is making my mouth water. The ice cream tastes like toasted marshmellows, and has chocolate swirl in it, and chunks of graham wafer cookies....mmmm ice cream. Y'all should check it out! Or if you go into Superstore on 8th st to see Irfan and open up a new account there he may just give you a free coupon too!

Ta Da!

So here is my new look. I have had a few complements on my glasses already and I do seem to like them quite a bit, although I am still getting used to them. Last night when I was coming home from work and it was getting dark I felt like taking them off because for a minute I thought they were sunglasses (the only glasses I have worn recently)...yeah. The bangs on the other hand, well can't really see them in this picture because I had to clip them to the side for work and they kinda stayed there. But that's generally how I am doing them, swept off to the side because I can't wear them straight down or the end of the hairs goes in my eye and that doesn't feel too nice!

I went to see the optomitrist last Friday and as I suspected, he recommended that I get glasses for distance vision. My eyes are not bad by any means, but I find it frustrating to not see clearly. I have done some shopping around since Friday and realized that glasses are not cheap. I knew that, but when you don't have benefits to help cover the cost, it's even more expensive. I tried on a lot of frames, and found a style that I liked, and set about to find them as cheap as I could. Last night Jay and I went out to Costco to take a look and I found them...the style of frames that I like for $120 and $99 for the lenses. Not bad! I should have them within the next week or so! Also, last Friday I went for a hair appointment to get my highlights done and a haircut. I decided to change my look a little with some bangs. I do like them, but I think she left them a little long for my tastes, but since I hadn't had bangs since about grade 11, I wanted to go a little bit cautious. Next time I think I will get them a little longer.

I finished reading the 5th book in the Redemption series by Karen Kingsbury yesterday. That was by far the saddest book that I have ever read. After reading the 4 previous books, I started to feel like I actually knew the Baxter family (on whom the books are based). I think each of the books made me cry at one point or another, but this final book was by far the most emotional. They are a great series for anyone who is looking for a series to read (probably not guys tho...), but make sure you have easy access to all 5 because you will read through them quickly, and make sure when you sit down to read you have a box of kleenex handy. And if you have a habit of reading during your breaks at work, these may not be the best books for that, because who wants to cry at work??

Speaking of crying....I have been feeling really discouraged in the last couple of days about my job. I like my job, I like massaging, but I just wish there was some way to make myself more busy. During the summer I had a few super busy weeks, and this week I did 2 treatments yesterday and I have one booked for tomorrow and that's it. More may get booked, but it's quite discouraging. People suggest to me that I should hand out brochures around downtown, but honestly, I handed out about 50-100 a couple of months ago and nothing has come of it. I did hundreds (if not 1000s) when I was working for Dance Sask. and I think it has gotten me ONE regular client who still comes to see me. I maybe got 4 or 5 clients out of it in total, but I think the key is finding people who will come regularly. *sigh* So if you could pray for me, that I would feel less discouraged and be able to think of effective ways of gaining clients I would really appreciate it.

uh oh

I think I may need glasses again. During church yesterday I grabbed Robyn's glasses and tried them on just for fun, but as I looked up to the overhead screen where the song lyrics were projected I realized that they were so crisp and clear with those glasses on, without them, they were pretty blurry. I could still read them, but they just weren't crisp. I have not been suffering with headaches or anything, just didn't realize how blurry things were until I had that moment of absolute crispness. I haven't been to the eye doctor in a few years because last time I was in he said not to bother coming in unless something was bothering me. I used to have glasses. When I was 2 years old I had a lazy eye and was in bifocals, but as the years progressed my eyes got better, until grade 7 when I would put my glasses low on the bridge of my nose and look over top to read the board at school then look through them to write notes. I eventually ditched the glasses and it has been 12 years since then. I figured that my eyes would probably eventually get worse because most people's do as they age, but I didn't figure it would be this soon. Now I wonder if it would be beneficial for me to have glasses, or if it would just weaken my eyes further. Either way I am going to call the optomitrist tomorrow and make myself an appointment.

Sorry it took me a while to report, but the trip to Calgary was fun for the most part. I have been reminded again why I am not ready to be a mother. As much as I love James, spending 4 straight days with him was quite trying for me. I got to do all the things I had hoped to do there. We visited with gramma and grampa, hit up Chinook, Gap Outlet, Calgary Zoo, and even saw my mom's cousin and aunt who I haven't seen in years! On our last evening there we convinced grampa to dig out their old 8mm film projector and some old home movies. That was really neat to see videos of my mom in the late 50s and early 60s.

I am thankful to have this long weekend just to relax and chill out. Jay and I slept in until 10:30am today, then just did nothing really all afternoon, then cooked supper and here we are a couple of hours later. Me chatting with Karen online and Jay reading the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe (did you know that it's going to be made into a movie to be released later this year??). For the rest of the weekend we have no really solid plans, other than church tomorrow and I am cooking lasagne for supper on Monday.

I have recently (within the last couple of days) gotten into watching the show Family Guy. Now it is incredibly offensive, however there are some irresistably hilarious scenes as well. I was watching one today and they were mocking Bert and Ernie from Sesame Street, and boy, I was crying I was laughing so hard. And in another episode they were mocking Ponyboy and Sodapop from the book and movie the Outsiders....anyone remember that (grade 6 with Mrs. Hawryliw for me...and Karen)??? And in another episode they did a little spoof on Charlie and the Chocolate factory with Peter all blown up like a blueberry. Now I totally wouldn't have understood that if I hadn't seen it a few weeks ago, and Jason FINALLY got it the other day when we watched it.