The miracle of life...

I went to the hospital this evening to visit my sister, brother-in-law and ultimately the reason I went was to meet my long anticipated nephew, James Thomas Vanin. I have not had much experience with people close to me being pregnant or giving birth. Not that I ever had the illusion it was, but it is definitely not glamorous. My sister gave birth to a 9lb11oz baby, with shoulders like a football player. Needless to say she is pretty sore and will take some time to heal up and feel better.

Little James on the other hand, because he was blessed with such wonderfully wide shoulders, he got stuck on the journey into this world. So the doctor had to use forceps to pull him out. My sister said that he was pulling so hard that she just about came right off the bed :( Poor little James' head is all black and blue. He is beautiful nonetheless, even though his head is cone shaped and he has 2 black eyes and a black ear, and various other bruises. He is beautiful!

It is just overwhelming to be this close to someone who has just given birth. It is just not as glamorous as they portray it to be on the Baby Story, or any television programs for that matter. I am feeling incredibly overwhelmed right now. I am an Auntie, but at the same time, being in that hospital room, looking at my sister and her husband, it's hard to believe that they are parents. It is a surreal feeling and will take some getting used to. I am incredibly excited to get to know this little person that came into the world on this beautiful March day. What a miracle :)

Date #4

Jay and I were getting 'concerned', well not really, but sort of about not having any disagreements or issues that have come up with us. We actually sat around a couple of times thinking of things that we do that might annoy the other person, to no avail. Date #4 in the book we are working through was about conflict resolution, or dealing with issues that come up, and we felt kinda ripped off cause there was nothing for us to talk about. And it seemed so silly to worry about NOT having conflict.

Well tonite, something finally came up. Not that we fought or argued, but a bit of an issue came up, and we worked through it. We talked about it and both came away from it feeling like better people and feeling like we love eachother even more. What a great feeling this is! If we never have a disagreement I think that would be okay, but after working through something, I feel much better :)

My week off

It has been a good week, although it has gone by WAY too quickly and I feel like I have been ripped off a little. I was able to get together with some friends and spend some quality time with family. My sister's tummy dropped the other day, so we are hoping the baby comes VERY soon (her due date is Monday!) :) I also got to spend some time with Karen and Lynette on Tuesday which was great. And I got some good quality time in with Jay which was delightful! This is my last break before the home stretch (I'll be done school in June) and I hope that it will tide me over until then! I guess I don't have a choice in the matter ;)

Computers, ACK!!

It amazes me how much my life has come to revolve around this computer. I will admit that I spend a LOT of time on this computer. I spend the time that the average person would spend watching television on the computer chatting, playing games or a variety of other computer related things. I confess that when I go away on a holiday to somewhere that doesn't have computer access that I feel a little uneasy and wonder how much email will be piled up (mostly junk mail anyways) when I get home. When my time is filled, say if I am busy doing stuff all day, I can go for days without signing on and not think too much about it, but on a day like today, when I am home without much else to do, the fact that my computer is/was acting up (I still have my toes crossed as I am typing this ;) ) really makes me angry.

Generally I am a pretty laid back kinda girl, but when my computer is constantly giving me the dreaded blue screen, or just randomly choosing to shut down and restart without my permission to do that, I get angry. I remember back to the days when I didn't have a computer to eat up my time and wonder how I spent all this time that I spend on my computer. Maybe I actually talked to people on the phone or in person, rather than chatting or emailing. Perhaps I actually sat down and played a game of cards with my dad, instead of playing with someone from California on yahoo games. Just an interesting thought. We are moving away from actual interaction with people. Or maybe it's just me.....hehe. I love my computer, but at the same time, I think it's just about time to trade it in on a newer model! I so desperately want Windows XP *sigh*! Someday when I am independently wealthy and can afford such things...

The Passion of the Christ

I went to see the Passion yesterday. Wow, what an experience that was! After it was over, I didn't feel like talking about it, or even much like thinking about it. I came home and everyone kept asking me if it was good or if I enjoyed it. I didn't feel that 'good' or 'enjoyed' were words that I could use to describe it. It was an experience. I came away feeling sad, guilty, but at the same time loved deeply.

I have read that story many times in the Bible. The arrest, trial and crucifixion of Christ, but that did not prepare me for the gruesome images in that movie. I knew that they whipped and beat and mocked Jesus and put a crown of thorns on his head. But seeing it made so much more of an impact on me. I watched that, how Jesus took that, how he didn't complain, or lash out, he just took it. Took it for me because he loved me so much. He gave his life for me, and what have I done for him? After seeing that I feel like I need to make a much bigger effort in my own spiritual life. How can I sit back and be okay with a 5 minute prayer before I go to bed and reading a passage from the Bible, when He did that for me???? *sigh*

I'm "in"...

So last night I met the parents for the first time. Have you seen the movie, "meet the parents"?? Yeah, it didn't go anything like that!! ;) His parents are very nice people, who I think I will get along with just fine! They encouraged us to come down to Swift Current in June for a visit. Jay and I had talked about it, and now I think I am looking forward to that. It will depend upon my job situation, or job hunting situation. I think we would be able to make it work, sneak down there for a few days between Sunday and Thursday after we are both done school ;) That'll be my holiday for the summer ;)

I am now officially on HOLIDAYS! I still have work this week, but I am off of school for a whole week! Yippeeeeeeeeee!!! I have a lot of unconfirmed plans with people this week ('hey we should do something that week!' 'yes, yes we should'), but I hope to make them all happen. I do have a haircut on tuesday afternoon, and Angie and Jay Day Part 2 on Wednesday (we get to have pizza, woohoo!), but I would like to confirm plans with other people.

There had been talk about Karen wanting to redeem a massage this week, and that would be awesome! And Lyn wanted to come for a massage too! And Robyn, if you want to redeem your birthday massage sometime this week, that'd be great! Maybe I could even come pick you up. And I finally get to go to Tante Maria's for lunch someday this week with dad and Robin. It is a mennonite restaurant, and apparently they have very good zumma borscht! Mmmmm zumma borscht. I do also have an assignment to work on this week somewhere in there, but I would much rather have plans with people!

I hope the weather is nice, and I also hope that my sister has her baby! Her due date is in a week from tomorrow! So hopefully it'll come a little bit soon, so I can have some time with the baby before I am back at school :) yay for babies!!!

Well I should go get dressed and whatnot to go see the Passion this afternoon. I'll let y'all know how it was. Even tho most people who are reading this have already seen it!!!

ramblings

This morning, dad asked me when he should start building a ramp in front of the house....and mom asked me if we were getting engaged. Wow, never expected that from mom and dad, and they were so calm about it. I know that they like Jason and they know that I am not naive and stupid, but I just thought they might have more reservations about their baby girl talkin about marriage.

I am sooooo in love. This is such a great feeling, and it feels better knowing my parents aren't gonna freak out on us. I get to meet his parents this weekend, and after tomorrow is done with, I think I may be a little bit nervous about it. I go to Sherbrooke Special Care Home tomorrow for my first day of field placement. I am working with 2 ladies, one has MS and the other is older and has serious arthritis and has had at least a couple of major joint replacements. I was a little concerned about getting paired up with someone who has cognitive difficulties or cannot speak. I realize that I would have been okay, but I feel good with the residents I was paired with, but I am a little nervous. So if you read this before Thursday morning, could you say a little prayer for me, just for calmness, and ease with going there. I don't want to be nervous, I have no reason to be nervous.

After tomorrow morning, and I have time to think about meeting Jay's parents, I may start to get a little nervous. Just wait until Saturday at work, when I have 8hrs to sit there and think about it and get worked up. I am sure I will be okay, but the potential exists to get nervous. From what I have heard, they are great people, and remind me a lot of my parents to an extent. So if you could pray for that too...

Today, I was putting a hair elastic in my hair, and then it was crooked, so I went to take it out and it was all tangled up, so I decided to cut it out of my hair. So I got some scissors, and cut it. And a ~2 inch long chunk of hair came with it. Just fell right onto my shoulder.....So today I phoned and made a hair appointment to get it evened out. I can't really tell where I cut it, but I am sure it'll make for some interesting times when I am trying to curl my hair :P I haven't had my hair cut since the middle of last October!!!

Jay and I are skipping out of church on Sunday to go see The Passion. I am looking forward to it, but at the same time am slightly apprehensive. I know that it is going to make me cry, and I am not a fan of crying in public. I realize that most people there will probably be crying as well, but still. But I do want to see it. I think that it will make an impact on the views of Easter this year, refresh the story in our minds and give us a realistic and shocking view of what our Saviour did for us! Wow! I do look forward to it :)

I think that's all, I am off to bed! Hope y'all are doing well!

Springtime?

Okay, so maybe we didn't get as much snow as they had originally forecasted, and it melted pretty much as quickly as it fell, but I am still ready for spring. Spring, a season for new life, for growth and change. The season of 'twitterpation', hehe. It's been a long time since spring rolled around and I was 'twitterpated' ;) It's nice to have someone to share this season of love and new beginnings with.

I am also reminded of the fact that very shortly (within the next 2-3 weeks, or maybe sooner) I am going to be an auntie. What an amazing miracle children are. I recall last August, when my sister first told me she was pregnant, I was the 2nd one she told (of course she told her husband first!). Last August, March felt like FOREVER away! I wanted her to have the baby now!

And another memory, when we were in Calgary in September and Robin wanted to shop for maternity clothes. Well in most stores, they have a pillow you can try the clothes on with if you arent big enough to fit the clothes yet. Robin liked that pillow so much she wanted to take it home. Now that she is actually that big, she is ready for that kid to come out!!

Everyone (except Lorne) thinks that the baby is going to be a boy, and at first I really wanted a girl, but now I feel indifferent. I will be happy with a baby to play with :) I cannot wait to hold that precious child in my arms, and hug and kiss it, and play with it. Teach it to do annoying things, then send it home to mom and dad who try to unteach it what I taught it ;)

Snow, snow, go away!!

I am so mad/frustrated/disappointed I just wanna cry. It is the middle of March and I really would like for it to stop snowing. But oh no, overnight we are supposed to get upwards of 15cm of snow!!! This is silly. I realize we live in Saskatchewan and we can have winter weather up until May, but this year, for some reason, I am really eager for spring. It has been a looooong winter, and I am ready for some good ole spring and summer!!!

On a happier note, I am beginning to feel my future coming together. I am getting close to being done school, and the first while after I am done school is a little blurry, but I am starting to have a vision of where I would like to take my new found education and skills. At some point in time I would like to have my own business out of my home and target people with limited mobility. I think that this group has not been targeted with most of the clinics out there, and I think it is a great idea. But that is not something I want to get into immediately out of school. I would like to get out and build up a bit of a client base first, in case the other idea doesn't pan out, and the target clients aren't knockin down my door ;) Maybe my plans will change, but having a plan at all makes me feel really good.

Weird...

Guess what I saw today when I was standing outside of my school waiting for mom to pick me up....

A guy rode by, on a unicycle, wearing knee pads....it was one of those moments where you have to do a double take, but yes, sure enough, it was a unicycle!

Time flies when you are having fun!

Just remembering back to January 5th (2 months ago) when I first spoke with Jay online. I remember him wanting to show me a picture of himself very early in our conversation, and I was like....hmmm, is he one of 'those' guys :P But I very soon understood why. It was a picture of him next to his minivan, in his wheelchair. Before he sent it, he warned me "this is probably going to be a little bit shocking for you." And I thot, hmmm, wonder what that means....but when I saw it, I have to admit it was a little bit surprising because I have never met someone in a wheelchair online before. But just to put him at ease, I replied "wow, you drive a minivan, that is shocking!" hehe, he told me he just about cried with joy when I said that. It is hard to believe that was only 2 months ago. Time has been flying, I feel like I have known him for an eternity, but at the same time, we still have so much to learn about eachother. It is amazing how quickly God can change situations in your life...at the end of December I was feeling pretty crappy about being single, thinking that maybe I was meant to be single, then boom, I meet this super great guy and am in the middle of a whirlwind of a romance. WOW! I am so happy at this point in my life, I am excited about the future but at the same time thoroughly enjoying the here and now. *sigh* What a great feeling this is!

Hmmm...

God is amazing. Every time a fear or concern comes up associated with Jay and our relationship, either through prayer, or through talking to Jay about it, it is gone. After school, I had a talk with my dad about my future with Jay. Not that we are planning a wedding yet :P, but my dad is concerned that I am not thinking this through. He has nothing against Jay, in fact he really likes him, but he is just trying to look out for me.

My dad's fear is that Jay will end up in a nursing home before he is all that old and that I will be left on my own (possibly with children to support) and what will I do then? Well, I think that living in fear of the worst case scenario is not healthy. In all reality I could die tomorrow, or tonight even, or 5 years from now. Who knows?? Only God. And in my relationship with Jay, God is our guidance. I have never felt so sure that I am in God's will for me and that gives me comfort when faced with those questions from my dad.

I think by educating my dad about the life expectancy of people with spinal cord injuries (SCI), it may help to put his mind at rest. In all the literature I have read, I have come across information that there is only a slight decrease in life expectancy of those with SCI as compared to those without SCI. Of course people with SCI are more prone to infections and degenerative diseases (such as osteoarthritis and osteoporosis), however, Jay takes good care of himself. I think that a LOT of life expectancy has to do with attitude. Jay is a stubborn man, who is not willing to sit back and wilt and die because of this small obstacle. That is what I love so much about him.