Meet the Parents

Do y'all remember that movie? Well Jay met my family (minus Lorne) on Wednesday night at our class's steak night fundraiser. He was a little nervous, and I was a little nervous....my dad has a bad habit of making crude jokes. We have all come to accept and live with them, but you know, it's always a little scary around someone new ;)

But everyone hit it off, and all went well. Wasn't too much like the movie ;)

It was only the 4th time I have actually hung out with Jay, but yet, wow, I feel like I have known him my whole life. Conversation is so easy, and I just feel really comfortable around him. I really like what we have going for us, and look forward to what God has in store.

Brrrrrr

As I sit here, on the only day in my life that school has been cancelled because of the cold (but of course it had to fall on my clinic night :P:P:P:P), I am reminded of a little poem I wrote in the summer of 2002 when I was working full time in a parkade booth and it was about +35C. Today it is -42C and feels like -55C with the windchill, brrrrrr! Anyway, I read this poem and it just made me chuckle and wish that it was +35C right now...

So very hot,
sitting perfectly still,
sweating.
Nearly naked people,
freely walk the street
trying to escape
the scorching heat.
Wind blows,
like hot breath
on your neck.
Beads of sweat
form on your temple,
and trickle down
to your chin.
No escape
from this torment.
Skin sticks to any surface
it touches.
You don't want to move
but you must.
You peel your flesh away
from the surfaces
you are touching.
Ouch!

Smoking Bylaw

I am very impressed with the city's move to pass the no smoking bylaw. Being a non-smoker, I am looking forward to being in restaurants, malls, and maybe even on the rare occasion a night club without having my eyes burn and having to cough and sputter (even though I still live with 2 smokers :P). I am happy about it!

My dad on the other hand is really really really mad. He is a smoker, and has been since he was 18 years old (he's 50 now), and I am pretty certain that as long as he has lungs and a hand to hold a cigarette in, always will be. He figures that the non smokers are persecuting the smokers by not allowing them the right to smoke whenever/where ever they want. He believes that 2nd hand smoke is not damaging to those who inhale it....yeah I know, he's a very stubborn man.

There was an article in the Star Phoenix (on Saturday I think), by Les McPherson, about the smoking bylaw. How it is silly to ban smoking on public restaurant patios. My dad read that and heartily agreed with it. He loved how Les pointed out that 10,000 deaths per year are caused by physician mistakes, compared to ONLY 3,000 caused by 2nd hand smoke inhalation. Well if you ask me 3,000 is a lot of preventable deaths. It is a little surprising the number of deaths caused by doctors, but how can we prevent those? I am reminded of watching Oprah one day when this woman after she had a baby, and the doctors sewed up a big ole piece of gauze inside of her, and she got really sick from it, almost died. Anyway, getting off topic....

Any way I look at it, not having to inhale cigarette smoke is a good thing. Not that inhaling other pollutants is any better. Cigarette smoking is something that can be stopped, and even if my dad was right, and it's not so bad for us, I think we as non-smokers have the right to NOT inhale something that is so gross!

Ignorance

I think one of my biggest pet peeves (other than people horking and spitting on the sidewalk....grrrr) is ignorant people. Sure we are all guilty of it from time to time, the ignorance of just simply not knowing. But the people who just make inaccurate assumptions about people because they refuse to educate themselves, really drive me up the wall.

I will admit that before I met Jay 3 weeks ago, I wasn't overly educated on paralysis, or accessibility issues. But it just frustrates me, as it does him, the lack of understanding in the people who design 'wheelchair friendly' malls, parking stalls, bathroom stalls, etc. They figure as long as they designate the closest 2 stalls as handicapped that the MUST be okay for anyone who might need them. Same with bathroom stalls, I think they just throw them in there to meet standards, but really don't look at functionality. And really, what about that big ass ramp in the middle of the Circle Centre Mall?? Helloo?? Anyone thinking out there???

Today we went to church. At the church I attend, there is no specified handicapped parking stalls. So we found a place that we felt about 90% sure that no one could park next to him. But we came out of church and there was someone next to him :P Same thing happened after lunch at Poverino's. We parked somewhere that there was no more parking stalls next to his van, and when we came back there was someone parked right next to him. What is wrong with people?? I think their brains go down the toilet the moment they drive into parking lots. :P

Okay, so there's my rant for the day! Grrrrrrrrrr.....

On a happier note, I met little Kianna (Candace and Lyndon's month old daughter) last night, and I have fallen in love with her. I even got to hold her during church today :D:D:D:D:D hehe

Seeking God's Will

I am 23 years old, and only had my second 'date' last night. Well that's not completely accurate, as I have had 2 previous boyfriends, but with them it was just like,

"I like you, do you like me?"
"Yeah I like you, will you be my girlfriend?"

and so it went. But for the first time in my life, I have met a guy, who I am going out on dates with, for the purpose of getting to know him better, and also for the fun of it. There is no pressure for anything more than friendship at this point, and it is great. I am not opposed to pursuing more in due time, but I am trying my very hardest to seek God's will in this situation. I want this to happen in God's timing, if it is meant to happen at all. I know that God brought him into my life for a purpose, and I am just trying to figure out what that is.

Believe and Be Satisfied

I am at a place in my life where I feel that I am ready to date again, it's been a while. It's amazing how much peace God has given me over the last 2 or so years just to be seeking him, and pursuing my studies, without the distraction of a boyfriend. But I thought I would post this little poem that was given to me when I was a camper at Camp Kadesh when I was 17 years old. At that point in time, I wondered what God wanted with my love life, I thought it was up to me. But I have come a long ways since then, and I hope that to those of you who are single this will give you hope, and for those who are married, it will ring true.....

Believe and Be Satisfied

Everyone longs to give themself completely to someone, to have a deep soul relationship with another - to be loved thouroughly and exclusively. But God, to a Christian says:

"No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled, content with being loved by me alone, with giving yourself totally, and unreservedly to me, discovering that only in me is your satisfaction to be found, will you be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you.

"You will never be united with another until you are united with me - exclusive of anyone else, exclusive of any other desires or longings. I want you to stop planning, stop wishing and allow me to give you the most thrilling plan existing, one that you cannot imagine. I want you to have the best. Please allow me to bring it to you.

"Just keep watching me, expecting the greatest things: keep experiencing the satisfaction that I AM. Keep listening to me and learning the things I tell you. You must wait. Don't be anxious, don't worry. Don't look around at the things others have gotten or I have given to them. You just keep looking off and away up to me or you will miss what I want to show you.

"And then, when you are ready, I'll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than any of you could ever dream of. You see, until you are ready and the one I have for you is ready - I am working even at this moment to have both of you ready at the same time - until you are both satisfied exclusively with me and the life I have for you, you won't be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with me - perfect love.

"And dear one, I want you to have this love. I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with me and enjoy concretely the everlasting union of beauty, perfection and love. Know that I love you utterly. I am God Almighty, believe and be satisfied."

Learning to Think For Myself...

I am in school to be a massage therapist, and I am finding myself being bombarded with all this 'controversial information'. I love what I am learning about massage and it's benefits and practical uses. But there are all these "controversial issues" that are brought up in my class, and SO many people around me buy into it, and I just don't know who to believe.

I try to take it and look at it, and think about it. Most of it, I come to the conclusion that I don't think I am going to radically change my diet to only organic foods, organic supplements, organic blah blah blah. I know the people at school are only reading the side of the story they want to hear. Sure all the literature they read says, for example, that fluoride is a carcinogen, and is unnecessary to maintain healthy teeth. But is it true, or do they just not read the other side of the research? Then you ask someone like my dad, who is VERY opinionated about everything, and he just figures those people have an agenda, and they are out to lunch. (and I tend to agree, that anyone who renames themself Dolphyn IS probably out to lunch :P)

I know I am old enough to decide for myself, but it is just strange to me. I am someone who for the most part needs some solid proof (ie research) before I will believe in it. There have been a lot of things that have been brought up in school, things that I have never even given a second thought to before (like NOT receiving immunizations, all natural home child birth, not using fluoride, etc), but I have learned not to take everything they tell me at school as absolute fact. I suppose, if anything, it has taught me to think for myself.

Christmas Eve in January

*sigh* I just got home from my first date in over 2 years! It feels great to be back into the swing of things ;)

We decided to meet at Tony Tomas for coffee at 830pm. Of course I always misjudge travel time, so I got there a half hour early. So I sat in the car for a while, and went to the washroom, and walked around walmart for a bit, before I decided at 8:20pm that I could go. So I went and sat on the bench in front of Tony Tomas. And so I sat, waiting for Jason.

He rolled up right on time, or a little early. But we said hi and went and sat, and had a great chat and a little food and drink for a couple of hours. It was so nice just to meet someone new, not to mention that he is super cool, and I am super pumped about getting to know him better. I feel like an 8 year old on Christmas eve, excited for the things to come. :D

Piss Off!

Today, as I stood waiting for the bus to come home, with my headphones in (I listen to my discman on the bus so no one will talk to me, or that's the hope anyways), listening to my new Evanescence cd, I saw about eight young guys, probably about 13-15ish in age walking towards the bus stop.

Now a few years ago, maybe even a few months ago, this would have intimidated me. Something about young males, and they are always stupid and immature (okay that was a generalization, but most of them are at that age). As they walked by, a couple of them were making fun of an older man who was sitting at the bus stop because he was wearing a hat that looked like a train conductors hat.

Then they came up to me, and one young man asked me if I would pay him $1 if he allowed the approaching bus to run over his foot. I could hear him perfectly fine, because I never listen to the music too loud. But he was being a smartass, and I felt like being one right back, and I felt bad about the old man they had been picking on. So I was standing there saying louder than I had to (like a person does when they have headphones on), I am sorry, I can't hear you, I have headphones on. And he was motioning for me to take them off, and I said no, I can't hear you. And he started yelling at me to take them out, and I finally said, why don't you just piss off? And then my bus pulled up and I got on, and as we drove away he was screaming at me about being a loser.

Now for those who know me, I don't usually stand up for myself, I just usually kinda just stand there quietly and give people dirty looks if they deserve them. But I felt so good after that, and he just couldn't believe that I had told him to piss off. I don't usually say stuff like that (I hate the word piss), but he deserved it, it was for me and the old man in the train conductors hat!

Curly Hair

Today I woke up and my hair wanted to be curly, so I worked with it, and moussed it and hairsprayed it and blow dried it with a diffuser, and it was curly, or wavy, or maybe just crusty looking. I got a few complements from my friends at school, because usually my hair is back in a half ponytail.

Then I went to work, and I noticed all the guys smiling a little bigger at me than normal as they drove away. And I thought it was maybe just a figment of my imagination. Until this monthly parker actually stopped and made me open the window and remove my earphones (I like to listen to my discman at work), and he told me how very nice I looked today. And I don't think he was hitting on me (I hope not :P) , but I just had a smile on my face the whole rest of the shift. Moral of the story: I think I should do my hair more often....if only I didn't sleep through my alarm just about every morning, hmmm.....

Life Goals

It's amazing how much a good night of working in the clinic can make me happier. Like I have had super crappy clinic nights when I come home and feel like garbage. But today was a good clinic night and I am feeling good. I think that Q4 (my last term of school, that I am now in), is going to be a good one.

Today in our Professional Development class, as we were discussing how to set goals, I was thinking about my life. We have to make goals for ourselves (more so business related goals, but also personal ones) for the next 3 months, 6 months, 1 year, 3 years and 5 years. I figured in 6 months I will be married, and the 3 month goal is to find the right guy ;) haha, my classmates laughed at me.

Phillipians 4:6-7

I haven't felt close to God in quite sometime. I haven't been making the effort that I should in the last few months, and that had started to take a toll on me. I know that this is probably bad, but there is something I want in my life, and in this time of my wanting, I draw near to God. He is there for me, happy to see me return, and not that I am going to leave the second I get what I want, but it seems in the past, I have done this same thing. This new pursuit is something I want God to be a major part of. I am feeling a lot of peace in the situation, but yet still some anxiousness. I want it now, but I know that when God is ready to give it to me He will. Or maybe it's not meant to be at all, maybe God will say no.

But on Sunday night, I was feeling a little confused and just generally feeling "off". So I sat down and started writing how I was feeling, and praying. And in the middle of what I was thinking and praying, God spoke to me. Just all of a sudden, in the middle of me writing something, God gave me a bible verse. I didn't ask for it, but there it was. It was Phillipians 4:6-7 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." It was just what I needed to hear. And honestly since then I have been seeking God in this situation. I know that was only a couple of days ago, but I feel that my whole feeling on it has changed. Before I was all giddy and distracted, and now I feel almost more mature about it. I feel that it is in God's hands, His control and that no matter what happens, God's will is what I want.